Baby Malcolm Malik

8.24.18

Baby Malcolm Malik,

You are coming home today. It’s quite the amazing feat. Two weeks and one day old you are. First one out, first one home. I wonder if you know what’s going down. Do you know that you’re on your way home? Will you miss your brothers? 

It’s going to be a challenge for us.

Let me speak for myself. I’m nervous. I want the best for you, but I don’t even know how to show up in that way for myself right now. Trying my best is a given, I can muster that up on your behalf, but is that even enough? Am I ignorant to a fault? I’m consumed by doubt,  overwhelmed by thoughts of my “best” not being up to par.

Parenting…how? 

I’ll be sure to feed you, burp you, and put you to sleep. That I can promise. Bathing you on the other hand, I’m not so sure about that. Hopefully I’ll get more comfortable supporting your floppy neck. When that time comes you’ll get more frequent baths. So you might stink sometimes, but after a while we’ll get it together. This thing is practice. I can assure you that your mother and I are doing the best that we can. With more and more practice our best will get better.

Congratulations on making your way, on growing, on finding the route home. I’ll see you soon. I love you.

-Tyler